Peripherals of my entity

An Arundel Tomb

2012-01-24T13:39:00.001+08:00

Side by side, their faces blurred,
The earl and countess lie in stone,
Their proper habits vaguely shown
As jointed armour, stiffened pleat,
And that faint hint of the absurd -
The little dogs under their feet.

Such plainness of the pre-baroque
Hardly involves the eye, until
It meets his left-hand gauntlet, still
Clasped empty in the other; and
One sees, with a sharp tender shock,
His hand withdrawn, holding her hand.

They would not think to lie so long.
Such faithfulness in effigy
Was just a detail friends would see:
A sculptor's sweet commissioned grace
Thrown off in helping to prolong
The Latin names around the base.

They would no guess how early in
Their supine stationary voyage
The air would change to soundless damage,
Turn the old tenantry away;
How soon succeeding eyes begin
To look, not read. Rigidly they

Persisted, linked, through lengths and breadths
Of time. Snow fell, undated. Light
Each summer thronged the grass. A bright
Litter of birdcalls strewed the same
Bone-littered ground. And up the paths
The endless altered people came,

Washing at their identity.
Now, helpless in the hollow of
An unarmorial age, a trough
Of smoke in slow suspended skeins
Above their scrap of history,
Only an attitude remains:

Time has transfigured them into
Untruth. The stone fidelity
They hardly meant has come to be
Their final blazon, and to prove
Our almost-instinct almost true:
What will survive of us is love.

Philip Larkin

Naturally

2012-01-22T00:22:00.002+08:00

“God, but life is loneliness, despite all the opiates, despite the shrill tinsel gaiety of “parties” with no purpose, despite the false grinning faces we all wear. And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter - they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long. Yes, there is joy, fulfillment and companionship - but the loneliness of the soul in its appalling self-consciousness is horrible and overpowering.”
-Sylvia Plath

Following sharing a few days ago, I started wondering, how we human beings may be deemed but the most socially and easily connected people of the century. Yet, this has all become but tools of our isolation. We are not alone, but yet, we are profoundly lonely as all man are. Yes its the loneliness of the soul, the soul in which lives eternally. There lies the paradox of how "To live is to die".

Then what fills ourselves. What consumes our soul wholly and completely, till we suffocate from it. And @that, can we call it love? Love that fills the void. We cant say that love brings us suffering. The yearning for it does. The yearning to fill this void that is loneliness, of the soul.

But only he is able to provide. Only God is worthy, for he is the master of the ship, the captain of my soul.

Sub

2012-01-21T01:03:00.002+08:00

I read somewhere recently that suffering comes in two forms: Receiving a lack of it and on the opposite end, receiving an abundance of it. But I disagree. Suffering comes from our want and search. Our search in the love of good and all goodness. The search in where we seek this abstract love and in thus happiness. By trying to avoid this suffering, and searching tirelessly for happiness, this perpetual search turns to farce when we realise our zest for this seeking the happiness in life, has become, the eventual source of our suffering. Because by then, and by then it is too late, that we finally see, WE WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED OR ADMITTEDLY AND TRULY HAPPY.

I am learning to appreciate true happiness in its most pure form - My existence.

Sophia

2012-01-05T00:54:00.002+08:00

Some believe that death is the absolute worse thing that can happen to anyone. But who are we to say that it may not be of greater good to us than life, as we do not know what death is like. Yet some behave as they are perfectly certain that death is the absolute worse thing that could happen to anyone. Isn't it then, the most shameful ignorance to claim to know what we do not actually know at all?

Shaken. Rattling, rattling. Dismembered and unassembled.We are all called to be broken to ourselves.

Shivering.

pianissimo

2011-12-28T01:23:00.006+08:00

Long before you've left, yet I hear your thoughts amplified in mine. Then I think I might have lost all will to live another day. In all truth, I really do wish to die. As only then will I be liberated.

We ourselves are to be blamed for this. Formulating this preconceived notion that love and happiness are supposed to be a certain way. And we are every bit responsible for believing that all of what we say is truth. It is in fact fallacy because we lose all nature of our very own thought and opinion. Our voice becomes the publics, our words become the publics; We become the public.

Long after he's left, yet I still hear his thoughts amplified in mine. Those thoughts of the publics that I so conveniently mistook for his own. So conveniently claimed, as my own.

I am but, the public.

Release me.

2011-12-17T03:07:00.002+08:00

So took awhile to re-examine what I want out of life, and more of what I can make of life. Then I chanced upon the topic of knowledge. Yes, knowledge may be attained in a myriad of ways. But what is given to us now (books and exams) limit our horizon, and that vast prospect of knowledge becomes but shaved on the sides and reduced.

So I believe what most of us want out of life is happiness yes? But many say money can't buy you happiness. But who are you to say money is not important, when what we are doing now (studying etc.) is but for economic means/the single-minded pursuit of financial success? And its saddening, how not only does this compromise learning and expanding our knowledge, but destroys the true pursuit of knowledge. So money is not the root of all evil, but human greed. Then consider, that we are not deprived of happiness, but we restrict ourselves from receiving true happiness.

WE, are what stands between happiness and ourselves.
We are the problem.

I know what I want to do with my life here on end.
I want meaning.

Come what may

2011-12-06T00:04:00.002+08:00

His love is sufficient for you.

Fill the void, as he has stopped searching for love in all the wrong places,
and found you.

Sink into Me

2011-12-04T21:33:00.005+08:00

4th December; Aladdin with Cherisse @NLB's Drama Centre. It's definitely funnier than Emily of Emerald Hill, but both really good local productions. As of late, I have developed an uncanny interest in some of the reference material in the library. Guess it's finally my turn to understand the joy of reading. Bought a book on Khalil Gibran's works.

"The significance of man is not in what he attains but what he longs to attain" says Gibran. And this coincides with what Lacan says, that it is not the fantasy or desire that is important, but the road to making our fantasies reality that is truly what we want.

And I am forced to believe again that it is not that one really likes another, but relishes the FEELING and THOUGHT of being preoccupied with loving someone else MORE than ourselves, because we always have a reason to love others more.

It was never transactional for me.

Show me now; show me the arms aloft.

;

2011-12-03T13:34:00.001+08:00

"I have nothing to offer, but my confusion"

2011-12-03T13:13:00.003+08:00

We are what we are because we are said to be a certain way (labels, you see).
People are who they are to us, because we want them to be a certain way (we see what we look for and hear what we listen for yes?)
Things turn out the way they do, because we chose our joys and sorrows before they happen, albeit indirectly.
So yes, we do have control of our lives, in some way, somehow, however limited.
So who are we to complain about the adversities of life. But then again, we are only human.

And then, we believe what we want to believe.
So I guess, sometimes, when things dont turn out the way we would like it to, the only lone explanation would be that..we dont really know what we want.

UY

2011-11-24T13:00:00.001+08:00

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and I will try to fix you

Lilting weltschmerz

2011-11-24T12:43:00.003+08:00

"Not all who wander is lost / All that is gold does not glitter"

Every man is an island. (They lie when they say it's not)
And it is through the bridges we build that we form connections, relationships and unions in which may or may not last.
Many a time we burn those bridges, willingly or accidentally. Other times we chose not to build those bridges at all.
Yet sometimes, we leave those bridges untouched, and everything else, literally becomes but
water under the bridge.

Few bother enough to maintain those bridges. And I sincerely thank all those who have.

"The crownless will be king"

Progesterone

2011-10-17T23:01:00.002+08:00

'Whats the difference if i say i'll go away;
When i know i'll come back on my knees someday.
...
He'll never know.'

-My Man, Barbara Streisand.
Well the song was nice when Lea Michelle sang it.

Avoiding avoiding avoiding. Disembodied. Dismantled. Displaced.
Then I realise how foolish I was/am.

Discombobulate

2011-10-12T00:52:00.002+08:00

"We dance round in a ring and suppose
But the secret sits in the middle and knows"

So it was truly but love's confusing joy and that alone. No more, and no less.
Its the validation of self-worth, the affirmation of oneself, the feeding of the ego tha obscures us from finding the truth.

But now its panic, shear bloody panic. Its high time.

Acquired

2011-09-19T22:54:00.004+08:00

To love even when you hate.

Oh sweet sorrow.

So we know now what is of value to some, may not be to others.
Not all that glitters is gold right?

But what then, do YOU consider gold?

I know, definitely not our friendship.

Filled grey

2011-09-02T00:49:00.004+08:00

Never wanted to think about the abstract subject of love. So it is said that we often fall in and out of love. Fallacy. Infactuation, merely.
But when can you truely say, it IS love?
As of late, I have grown more cynical about it. Love, friendship, human relationships. The fragility of them all. Physical and emotional liminalism juxtaposed with the utopian and structuralists' ideas, are reality and dreams in debate. Purely.
Abandoned, forgotten, insignificant, used, reclussed, reduced.
We all want the same thing. It is the lengths we go to to get it that differ.
They differ.

Existentialism

2011-07-15T01:20:00.003+08:00

I never thought I'd hear myself say this again, but I GIVE UP.

I can't do it anymore. I just cant.

Continuity or Change

2011-06-26T01:59:00.003+08:00

Like confucius once said, life is simple.

But it is we people, who insist on making it confusing.

Do not confuse, confucius says.

Oxygen has been introduced to the glowing splint: Flames have been rekindled.

Once lost and thought to be never found, yet like a bird that we set free, maybe its meant to be.

It returns.

Many decisions to make, wonder why we foolish teens ever demanded the right to make our own decisions. Too many things to consider, too many outcomes to perceive.

And when i'm lost and clueless, desperate for peace of mind, I turn to God (yes, what a time to beseech him).

: Maybe you werent such an open book. Out of my comfort zone and

Vulnerable.

Ambivalent

2011-06-26T01:56:00.001+08:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Brother, this one for you!

2011-03-23T21:29:00.006+08:00

Trolley:
1. Maintenence may be cumbersome. After a period of time, many trolley wheels need to be oiled. When they are not, it makes it harder for the trolley's to be maneuvered through the aisles.
2. After a long time, the over-usage of such trolley's lead to the wearing out of trolley parts. (Problems with frequent maintenence - troublesome)
3. The large trolley's may become an obstuction in the aisles especially during peak shopping hours.
4. May not be as easy to push around for many people due to the weight of the trolley.

Tissue Box:
1. Material - The cardboard though lightweight, are flimsy and easilly bent. They are also easily damped by water as the cardboard is not water resistant.
2. The size and design of the tissue box may not be suitable for every environment as not everyone will find it aesthetically pleasing.

I can't think of anymore :(

Paraplegic

2011-03-06T10:11:00.003+08:00

I took a look @all my medals hanging on the side of my study, but all I could see was how the cup was half empty. I may be myopic and I'm well aware of that, but I can't and refuse to see into the mortifying future.

I may need to get a new pair of glasses.

Nimbus

2011-03-06T10:07:00.005+08:00

Time to switch gear and go gungho :) I'm hell bent on showing you what I've got to offer.
Please see what I see, cos you can never get a clearer scope from anywhere but in my shoes.

I can't comprehend. I can't read you like an open book anymore, maybe its because I'm scared to know that what I believed is true :( But what can I say, everything happens for a reason. So what's mine?

"YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

Vertical

2011-02-11T16:27:00.002+08:00

Not contented, but what's wrong?
I dont understand, I can't comprehend.

On a lighter more enjoyable note, the hump&dump couple got me occupied for the last 2 days. EPIC. Poor foetus.

But for now, it's
Time for a change :)

Jovial nonchalance

2011-02-02T15:54:00.003+08:00

She made me realise how thick one can get.
He made me realise the imbecile in me.
She made me realise the cruetly of competition.
He made me realise the lengths of desperation.
She made me realise the meaningless nature of things.
He made me realise true friendship.
She made me realise what was more important.

And still, i thank god relentlessly, for he made me realise the strength in these broken hands of mine.

Incandescant

2011-01-02T12:22:00.001+08:00

"I don't want to live life with any should've, could've and would'ves."
-Nineteen days

Bye 2010 :)

2010-12-31T10:14:00.002+08:00

This is how I've been feeling + what has been going on during the past few days! Browsing through thingsweforget.bs and I cld never imagine it to be a greater sign. While I do my soul searching and resolutions for the new year, 2010 was great, all the laughing, the crying, the worrying, the panicking, the going crazy :) I miss every second of it. But i know we will make greater memories to keep in 2011! Happy New Year everyone :)

We've gotta get acquainted

2010-12-10T22:18:00.003+08:00

"The next time you point a finger, I'll point you to the mirror" -Playing God: Paramore :)

So what now? I love the game, I relish the glory.
The way I see it, it isnt getting any easier.

Huixing: We all play a part in his plan, afterall, we're just instruments to spread his word &love :)
&That's exactly what we will do - Spread his love :)
(Therefore, we're not useless, we're rather useful in this callous world~)
We're awesome &more fly than a G6 HAHA :)